Things that have sucked. They may be funny one day.

1. That time we lived in our basement.  And slept on an air mattress.  For twelve weeks.
2. That time our upstairs fridge, full of food, was accidentally unplugged by the contractors.
3. That other time we thought the basement fridge worked, but it turned out that it didn't.  All of our food went bad, and it smelled really good too.  At least the fridge made a great dresser.

4. That other time things smelled bad, when the plumber had to uncap the plumbing line.  On a Saturday.  So we smelled raw sewage.  All. Weekend.

5. That time we slept on an air mattress in the basement for twelve weeks, when the ceiling above us looked like this, and rained dust on us all night long.

6. That time (I mean those many weeks) when we had random holes in our house, so mosquitoes came in.  Did you know mosquitoes will bite your face, neck and palms?  I learned that this summer.  The scars on my legs may never fade.

7. That time we went two weeks without a shower in our house, so we took sponge baths in the basement kitchen with dish soap.  Yes, in the middle of this kitchen:

8. That time we didn't have any blankets we could get to, so we used towels instead.


A few things I will actually miss when this is all over:
1. It is totally acceptable that I recycle the same five outfits.  I can't get to my closet (actually, I technically don't have a closet right now).
2. I don't dust.  What's the point?
3. We eat off paper plates.  I haven't washed a dish in weeks.

Tile Has Started!

Love, love, love

Upstairs Hall Bath

Upstairs Hall Shower

Master Suite Floor

The Evolution of My Bathroom

The Condo

The New House - At first

The New House - Day Two of Renovations

When We Didn't Have A Toilet

Finally...the toilet in the basement was installed

And the Dexter shower in the basement!

Ceiling Fans and Insulation

We have a sunroom/office off our back bedroom.  The first big problem is that the floor was uninsulated, so the room was always an uncomfortable temperature.  Also, you could stand in the sunroom, look between the planks in the floor, and see the patio below.

See the bright spot?  That's our mini-window to the back patio.

Up close: Hey there patio.

The first step was to pull down the old, rotting planks that make up the ceiling of the patio under the sunroom.  Apparently this was a really hard and nasty job.  Luckily Ethan and my Father In Law took care of it.

He looks so professional.

Once the planks came down, insulation went up.  Again, this was apparently a hard and nasty job that I supervised.

Once the insulation was all up, Ethan and Henry installed pressure treated two by fours to keep the insulation safe from moisture.  After that, we installed PVC bead board to cover the pressure treated wood.  The PVC was more expensive than wood but will require no maintenance, and looks just like wood!

This is also where we revisited the  Major 100+ Year Old House Lesson that we learned while repainted the bedroom.  Nothing. Is. Straight.  Nothing.  This meant every piece of PVC had to be carefully and individually measured and placed.  This meant the project took about five nights longer than expected.

As an added bonus, while taking the planks down, Ethan and Henry assessed the electrical situation and figured out that we could pretty easily add a ceiling fan to our back porch.  The person who lived here before us had a dining room ceiling fan rather than a chandelier, so we figured this would be perfect to repurpose.

Ta-da: The finished product!

Just for perspective, here was the ceiling before:

We have this shed-like area off our basement that needed a door.  Ever resourceful, Ethan carefully selected the nicest and least rotten planks.  He sanded them down, treated them, and hung a door to cover the crap in the shed.

Up next: fixing the rusted siding above the patio:

How To Shop at Home Depot

I learned a very expensive lesson.

Ethan and I had to make a HUGE Home Depot order.  I'm talking like, both of our monthly salaries gross pay kind of order.  We had a million square feet of tile to buy, three toilets, a bathtub, some weird contraptions called shower diverters, fancy oil rubbed bronze fixtures...you name it, we needed one.

With the exception of some splurge items and the Ikea kitchen, Home Depot is basically outfitting the renovation.

I did a little poking around on Home Depot's website and learned about something called The Pro Desk.  If you place a gigantic order, you are eligible for a discount.

Step One: Actually getting in touch with this mythical Pro Desk.  I looked up my neighborhood Home Depot and saw that the Pro Desk was open weekends.  I even called to double check.  Awesome.  We got up early and went in.  Turns out, both the website and the employee I talked to were confused - the Pro Desk isn't actually open on the weekends  The person in the store advised that I call before 8am on Monday.  So I called.  I got transferred around at least 7 times.  Finally someone hung up on me and put me out of my misery.  I went to work early so I could call from my desk and sit on hold every day for a week.  Any time I had an hour at my desk without meetings, I called the Pro Desk.  FINALLY I got in touch with someone at the Desk.  I was so excited when the person answered, I got totally frazzled and almost accidentally hung up on him.

Step Two: Getting the quote.  The guy I finally got in touch with told me that the easiest way to work with the Pro Desk is to come in during business hours.  1. I don't drive.  2. I'm a workaholic.  The business hours option just wasn't going to work for me.

I explained this, and he said no problem.  I could just email them and Excel spreadsheet with my order and they would get back to me with my discount.  I already had my wishlist in Excel (of course I did), so this was perfect!  I emailed it along and received an immediate response.  They were working on my quote and would get back to me.

A few days went by with no response, so I gave the Pro Desk a call.  Per usual, I got transferred around 800 times before someone finally hung up on me.  I went to work early and called multiple days in a row.  Defeated, I emailed them and got a quick response: they were going to get back to me that same day.  Great!

Step Three: Dealing with the quote.  My quote was disappointing.  They were quoting me MORE than what I could just buy myself online.  That was totally stupid - I had waited over two weeks for my quote at this point, and probably wasted ten hours sitting on the phone and getting transferred around and hung up on.  I decided I was just going to buy everything on my own online.  My credit card had extra points with Home Depot, so this was the obvious course of action.  This was also my Big Mistake.

What Should Have Happened: About forty-eight hours later, I received an email from the Pro Desk telling me that my account had been activated and with my order size I was eligible for a 20% discount.  Say what?

IF I had been patient, and waited forty-eight more hours, I could have saved a ton of money.  I should have placed the order using the slightly more expensive Pro Desk quote, which actually would have been cheaper with the discount.

I called Home Depot again to see if I could somehow transfer my order to the Pro Desk, or do anything to get the discount.  Of course this required about 10 hours on hold, which I suffered through, only to find out that nothing could be done.  My only course of action was to wait for everything I ordered online to arrive, return it all to the store, and then re-order from the Pro Desk.

We weighed the pros (saving money) against the cons (getting a million square feet of tile, three toilets, a bathtub, etc. back to Home Depot) and decided to chalk this up as a very expensive lesson.  Learn from my mistakes.  Be patient and wait for your Pro Desk welcome email.

Buying Our Kitchen Part II -or- That Time I Threw A Grown Up Temper Tantrum

So, when we spent the big day at Ikea, we purchased a substantial amount of kitchen items.  We left with a small list of items on "backorder".  One cabinet box, a few fasteners, odds and ends...and the farmhouse sink.

In my state of Ikea fatigue, I thought I could call my friendly College Park store a few days later, see if the items were available yet, add them to my order and have them shipped along.  NBD.  I called a few days after our epic trip.  It was about 8pm on a really awesome work day (you know, the kind where you are too busy to go pee).  The person on the phone informed me that most of the items I needed had been restocked (excuse me, most?) but they couldn't add them to my shipment, nor could they ship them at all (still baffled by this), nor could they hold them for me to pick up later.  My best bet was to head to the store rightthissecond, pick them up, then try again in a few days for the rest.

Okay.  At this point, we hadn't bought our car yet, so this was a less than ideal situation.  Ikea is far away.  Going out there for the first order was a BFD.  We were only able to get there because Henry was in town with his car.  I was tired, cranky, hungry and needed to pee.  So I acted friendly and confused and a little passive aggressive to the person on the phone.  It didn't help.  The sales person was firm - she couldn't add it to my shipment or hold it until the weekend, when I could secure a rental car with more warning.  So I bitched and whined.  No help.  Then I remembered I was at work, surrounded by my hungry, cranky, tired, full-blattered team, and hung up defeated.  I would just try again another day and everything would be fine.

Fast forward a couple weeks.  Getting these back ordered items has been no small feat.  Henry ended up getting most of them for us at he New Haven store (you know, since we couldn't add to our shipment).  We are still missing a couple things we will have to figure out later.

And the farmhouse sink...is back ordered until at least September.  And there is no sort of wait list of anything.  My online research tells me it is available in South America, but that would be a very expensive Uber.  So, the thing I was most excited about will have to hold the dishes of another budget minded thirty-something.

Lessons Learned

• Ikea is a great deal, but their ordering process makes you work for that savings.
• If you have one must have, can't live without item, make sure you confirm it's actually available for purchase.
• Cars are helpful things to have.

Buying Our Kitchen: Part I -or- That Time I Spent Ten Hours at Ikea

This is totally a wide-angle lens.  See that oven in the corner?  The refrigerator prevents the door from fully opening. 

We bought the house knowing we needed a new kitchen.  Nothing works.  The layout is terrible.  It is so small, we use the top of the washing machine as our food preparation station.  There are so many things wrong with that sentence.

So, we (Ethan) did our (his) research and learned that Ikea is really the best bang for your buck.  The appliances are made by Whirlpool, there is a crazy long guarantee on everything, and you can design everything yourself for a custom look without custom prices.  Plus, Ikea was having a 20% off sale, which meant (a) we could save 20% or (b) we could upgrade and get the fancy dishwasher that looks like a cabinet!  And a cobalt blue Viking range!  We chose option (b) obviously.

Found on lilyfieldlife.com

Anyway, Ethan spent hours measuring the kitchen, taking note of weird wall soffits, and choosing which actual pieces we would need where.  Then he and I chose the style and colors.  We option for traditional style fronts in gray with white quartz counter tops, and a huge double-sided farmhouse sink.  The sink is my favorite thing ever and I can't wait for it to be mine.

We called Ikea to schedule an appointment to come in.  We learned they don't take appointments, but the College Park store takes names fifteen minutes before opening.  So we got up early the next Sunday armed with our plans and detailed order list, ready to take on Ikea.

Via Houzz.com

We showed up fifteen minutes early and were first in line.  The fifteen minutes gave us just enough time to totally second guess the design choice we made weeks ago.  Gray traditional cabinets with white quartz counter tops were out, and sleek, modern, white cabinets with a gray quartz counter top was in.  But the farmhouse sink remained.

Anyway, since Ethan had already chosen our pieces and uploaded everything into the Ikea Kitchen Building Tool, we thought this would be a super fast shopping experience.  We would just swap gray for white, press pay, and be on our way!

Something happened.  I've replayed the day over and over, and still can't explain it.  Somehow, prepared as we were, we managed to spend like six hours getting the items our of the design tool into our shopping cart.  Then shit got real!

The built in microwave (you know, the ONLY one Ikea is currently selling) was out of stock at every store on the East Coast and discontinued so stock would never be replenished.  Not having that microwave meant the cabinets built to hold the microwave were worthless.  This would throw off the ENTIRE KITCHEN DESIGN.  We had already spent so much time on THIS kitchen, how could we ever change it?!?  WHY did Ikea let us incorporate the discontinued microwave into our design and not warn us until checkout?!?!?!?  WHAT DID WE DO TO DESERVE THIS??????

Luckily, a store manager overheard us and told us about a super secret built in microwave.  You couldn't search for it, but he could add it to our cart because he had the super secret code.  And, I actually liked it better and it was cheaper.  Crisis averted!

Other items were unavailable as well, but shouldn't be a big deal because the stock will get replenished, and we can just add to our order later.  At least that is what I heard in my state of Ikea fatigue.